The Mets Scored 14 Runs in Three Games. Dansby Swanson Drove In 15 by Himself.

Let’s set the scene, because you’ll want to remember exactly where you were. Wednesday night, Citi Field, the back end of a doubleheader the Mets were already losing. Every member of the starting infield commits an error. Every one. Francisco Lindor opens the festivities. Marcus Semien — a two-time Gold Glover who made two errors in all of last season — matches that total in a single evening. Six errors in one game, one apiece around the horn. The last Mets team to pull that off was the 1962 Mets, a club so historically, cosmically bad that it is the punchline baseball reaches for whenever it needs one. You do not want to go full 1962. The Mets went full 1962.

And standing in the middle of it, helping himself, was Dansby Swanson — a Cubs shortstop who walked into this series hitting .183. Not a typo. One eighty-three. The kind of average that gets a man a stern meeting with the hitting coach. Over three games against the Mets he went 7-for-12 with three home runs, including a grand slam, and drove in fifteen runs. The most RBIs in a three-game span by any shortstop in the history of the sport, breaking a mark Nomar Garciaparra set in 1999. The Mets made a .183 hitter immortal. You’re welcome, Dansby.

One Man. Your Entire Lineup.

Here is the number that should be printed on the back page and left there until October. Across the three games, the Cubs scored 29 runs. Dansby Swanson personally drove in 15 of them — better than half. The New York Mets, a full roster of professional hitters assembled at considerable expense, scored 14 runs total in the same three games. One man knocked in more runs than nine men managed to score. That is not a slump. That is a man out-producing an entire opponent by himself, which is the sort of thing that is supposed to be mathematically difficult to do.

Spend a Ton. Win Less.

Which brings us to the standings, where the Mets sit at 34–46, dead last in the NL East, on a five-game skid, a mere two wins clear of the Colorado Rockies for the worst record in the National League. This was not the plan. The plan involved money — lots of it. The plan did not survive contact with the season. Pete Alonso, the one bat everyone in that building knew they needed, walked to Baltimore for five years and $155 million, and Mets fans spent Wednesday night chanting his name into the void like a séance. Kodai Senga, 0–6 with a 10.08 ERA, has been escorted to the bullpen. Freddie Peralta, the prize of the winter rotation, is carrying a 4.83. The infield that cost a fortune spent Wednesday kicking the ball into the outfield, one man at a time, in chronological order.

And then, in the only move that could possibly have made the night funnier, the Mets responded to losing a doubleheader to the Cubs by trading the Cubs a starting pitcher. David Peterson, gone to Chicago for an infield prospect named Cole Mathis — reinforcements shipped directly to the firing squad. Winner takes Peterson. The Mets take Cole Mathis, a name their fans will be invited to learn in approximately 2029.

The Verdict

So here is where the Mets are. They paid for a contender and fielded the 1962 expansion club for one unforgettable night. They turned a .183 hitter into the answer to a trivia question that will outlive everyone reading this. They scored 14 runs in three games and watched one opponent drive in 15. And their reaction to the worst series of the year was to hand a division rival a big-league arm and accept a teenager in return. The money was real. The plan was real. The results are a man named Dansby Swanson hitting .202 and laughing all the way back to Chicago. C’est la vie. They’re the Mets. Of course they are. What else would they be?

A note on the data: Dansby Swanson’s series line (15 RBIs over three games, 7-for-12, three home runs including a grand slam; entered .183/.617, finished the stretch at .202/.688; 11 RBIs in the June 24 doubleheader, a Cubs single-doubleheader record breaking Ron Santo’s 10 from 1970; most RBIs in a three-game span by a shortstop, breaking Nomar Garciaparra’s 14 from 1999) is from ESPN, MLB.com, and NBC Sports Chicago. Game scores (Cubs 9–6 on June 23; 10–3 and 10–5 on June 24; June 22 rained out) and the Mets’ six errors — one per starting infielder, first since 1962 — are from ESPN, MLB.com, and Fox Sports box scores; the Mets scored 14 runs across the three games to the Cubs’ 29. Mets record (34–46, last in the NL East), Kodai Senga’s move to the bullpen (0–6, 10.08 ERA), Freddie Peralta’s 4.83 ERA, Pete Alonso’s five-year, $155M deal with Baltimore, and the David Peterson trade to the Cubs for infield prospect Cole Mathis are from ESPN, MLB Trade Rumors, and Yahoo Sports.